Change your Expectations
Imagine spending the morning going to the gym and coming home only to have pizza later that night. Well, today that was me and I can honestly say, I don’t regret doing either.
Going to the gym made me feel like I was doing something. Something good for my body and mind. It gave me a little boost of confidence that I actually knew what I was doing there and why I was there.
Eating my favorite Pizza Hut pizza (and pasta) made me feel good. I enjoy my Saturday nights with myself eating the things I like while watching the things I want to watch.
Although to some the two may seem contradictory, to me they are the perfect match.
After the gym, and before the pizza, I took a long, soft look at my body. I looked at the stretch marks, the surgery scars, the discoloration, and the “imperfections”. I realized how much my body has truly changed over the years. I’m 27 now and I realized, I can’t bounce back the way I used to when I was 12. I don’t even have the oddly hourglass figure I did when I was that age either. (Yeah, I can’t believe I noticed that too)
So many times I would get upset with myself for not taking my physical health more seriously, for not having the figure that I know is under the rest of me. But today, instead of criticizing, I decided to pray. I prayed to God for acceptance of my body and deliverance from my own expectations. I prayed that He would help me in deciding what’s best for me health wise and looks wise. Did I pray for my body to change? Absolutely. But I prayed for it to be based on His plans, not mine. I wanted to let all expectations of what I thought a health journey to look like. I wanted the change to be genuine and spirit led, not diet-crazed and based in my own disappointments.
In the meantime, I will continue going to the gym and eating my favorite foods. I am trusting that God will lead me to what’s necessary and what’s not. And, I now know that this gym thing isn’t just for the physical. It isn’t all about the aesthetics. It’s about me. It’s about God’s purpose. It’s about life. I’m just exercising the vessel.
On a societal note, I must ask this question… why do we expect our bodies to stay the same way that we did when we were at a developing age? Why would we want to go back to that? Society’s idea of perfection changes year by year. Trends come and go. Why do we allow society to change but don’t give enough grace to ourselves to change as well?
I ask these questions not to critique myself or anyone else, but I want to open the door to allow grace to come in. In 15 years I have been through a lot and I’m sure you have too. Change, physical, mental, or spiritual, is inevitable. I want to welcome it in all stages instead of pushing it away. How will you welcome change?